


Black and White

by inazumaghostking



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, I cant even tag, I'm Sorry, Idk what to call this au, M/M, Multi, PrUK, USUK - Freeform, but it's the one where, colour soulmate au, once they find their soulmate, they see colour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 14:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4567527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inazumaghostking/pseuds/inazumaghostking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur grew up thinking that soulmates were the most important thing in one's life, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked - or more specifically - Alfred and Gilbert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black and White

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, this is my first story that I will be posting on AO3. My name is Arthur and I am a giant gay nerd, but you don't need to know that. Anyway, I will probably be posting more stuff, maybe, if I can be motivated to. I am currently obsessed with the shippings PrUk and UsUk.  
>  If you spot any mistakes, then please inform me so I can fix it. Much appreciated. Thank you.

_"Soulmates are precious things, Arthur," his mother whispered softly as she placed him into his cot. "Open your eyes, my son, and notice that the whole world is black and white."  
Arthur whined a little and sniffled before his eyes cracked open. Emerald and Peridot met and she giggled a little at the colour she was used to. "There is only one person who can give you this sight, Arthur. Once you find them, son, keep them close, because they will introduce you to a world that you can only enter once in your life._

Arthur Kirkland. Arthur the Weirdo Kirkland. That's my name - at least - that's what everyone called me. Arthur the Compulsive Kirkland. Arthur the Colour Kirkland. I blame my parents. When I was younger, my mother and father, being the very loving couple they were, constantly talked about colour and its wonders. Naturally I, being the very impressionable child I was, became obsessed with finding the only one thing that will allow me the privilege of seeing things in other than shades: my soulmate.

"This is completely and utterly hopeless." I moaned. I had just come back from a failed 'date' I went on with a classmate. My so called companions, Alfred and Gilbert, laughed at my pretty flustered state. "Stop being so pouty, Arthur," the sandy blonde said in his annoying accent, "you're only eleven. You'll find a girl soon."  
Soon was the very problem. Soon is not soon enough. Everywhere I see is just black and white. Black and white. Black and white. It frustrated me and I hated it. We sometimes catch the teachers talking about reds and greens and blues when we sit around in the playground. They even mock us with their colour coordinated mugs for coffee. Mrs. Williams owns the yellow one. Mr. Harrison uses the Purple one. You know what the students saw? Black and white - and I'm just so sick of it. Life was just so... Dull and boring. I don't want soon. I want now.

Gilbert seemed to notice the growing frown on my face and patted me fairly roughly on the back. I glared at him and he returned a cheesy grin.

"Maybe you should widen your range a bit?" he suggested with a wink. The two others laughed at my befuddled expression then shared a high five. "You know... Experiment... With boys."  
My throat contracted rather suddenly and I seemed to choke on air. Were they being serious? Well... I suppose that they were giving a fairly good point (for the first time in their lives).  
"A-Alright. Let's think about this first: assuming I was to date another... B-boy, who am I supposed to go out with? I don't think anyone else in our class is.. Uhm... Plays for that team."  
We all glanced at the rest of the kids running around the school grounds. The male students in the year below were just complete and utter twats and I don't feel comfortable dating someone two years my junior. The majority in our class were just as bad as the Year Fives and some were just not my type. The only ones that I would like to date were very few - you could literally count all of them with a single hand. Even with those few, who was to say that they too felt attraction for the same gender? Who's to say that they would even be interested in me? Who's to say that-  
"Arthur, stop overthinking it. The awesome me will surely find someone almost as awesome and fit for you!" Gilbert smiled knowingly as he touched my hand. Static ran through my arm as we stared at into each other's Black and White eyes. "Y-Yeah! We will find someone," Alfred loudly stuttered, breaking our contact. "Promise?" "Promise." they both chanted.

The bell rang to signal the start of school. The bloody American decided to dip his thermometer into warm water and tell our dorm teachers that he was too ill to attend today. Both Gil and I snickered as we made out way into school. He acted utterly pathetically this morning - he was just lucky that the Scary Polish Lady (or man; we really don't know - or care) who checked on him was extremely oblivious and stupid.  
"Why do you think Alfred is skipping again today?" I whispered to Gil as our Form Tutor rustled through our register wallet to see if we got any messages from other students or teachers.  
"Well, depends what we have today-"

The teacher stood and spoke up to silence us once she was finished. We started with the usual morning, the usual registration, the usual news and then the usual five minute talk before classes official start. Gilbert and I started to plot on dates once again. The three of us decided to attend a Private Boarding School for Boys since my experiment in Primary School became a life long study. Our parents had no problem with it considering the school had a high standard of education. Sexuality wise, my mum didn't care. She said that love was love and it didn't matter if I was gay or not.  
Our Form Mentor dismissed us to our first lessons. In our case, we had History Class - ah. Now that makes sense. He collected in our essays that he set a couple weeks ago - Alfred had probably not finished his yet. That wouldn't be much of a surprise.  
Gil and I caught each other's eyes from across the room and smirked. We both knew it.

For the first time in my life, I was able to eat without gagging. Since I temporarily lived away from home, the school provided us with lunch. Thank god. I didn't know how much longer I could live with stuffing Allistor's Haggis down my throat. I shivered at the slightly thought of it.

"So, is there anyone here you like?" Gil asked with a mouth filled with bread and ham. I rolled my eyes and passed him a spare tissue to wipe the sandwich spreading from his chin. "That Roderich guy seems to be pretty awesome. Not as awesome as me, though, but you two have a lot in common. You both like music, right?"  
Roderich Edelstein, or as the school calls him, the descendent of Mozart. We are almost always partners in music since I apparently had a good sense of rhythm. The only problem was, he hardly lets anyone touch him. Damn it. I shrugged and stood to throw my waste into the bin.  
"I have an idea," Gil smirked. That was what I dreaded. Before I could ask what plan he was scheming, he pushed me into Roderich. Out of instinct, he caught me, but I felt nothing but embarrassment and shame.  
"Oh bloody hell, so sorry, Roderich, I didn't mean to!" I gasped as I pushed myself away from his arms. His friends, being the gits that they were, wolf whistled and winked at the both of us. He motioned his hand to tell of of his forgiveness then turned away whilst I dragged my idiotic Prussian 'pal' back to our seats. "You idiot! What did you do that for?"  
"We needed to make contact between you two somehow!"  
I glared at him and he beamed back. After a few seconds, laughter erupted from our throats. We earned a few stares, but we didn't care. For the first time in a while, I was content with failing with yet another person.

Gilbert described to me his new friends he met in PE: A French Exchange Student named Francis and a Spanish Boy named Antonio. He was apparently telling me how compatible me and Antonia would be, but I was only half listening. I looked at the surroundings at our rear view and appreciated the Black and White for once.

"Arthur? Are you listening?" he called out, capturing my attention once again. I nodded and glanced to his direction, but he held my stare. "Arthur, you... Anyway.. As.. As I was.. Saying..."

Before any of us could do anything, a bunch of twats from our form pushed me into him. The air knocked out of my lungs as my body limped against his. Gil shoved me off him and chased after the group, cussing them out. I looked around frantically and rubbed my arms. Static. Electricity. Yellow.

I stomped through the hallway and burst into our dorm. My stupid roommates stared at me from their beds whilst I dived into my own. I know this was a very childish move, but I deserve to act like this considering the wretched date they put me through.  
"Oh come on, it couldn't have been that bad," my annoyingly optimistic friend sighed as he jumped from the top bunk. I assumed he sat on my bed as I felt it sink a little. "What did that Spanish dummkopf do?"  
Both friends pushed me up and Alfred offered me a tissue that I gladly took.  
"A-All he did was talk about Lovino..." I muttered softly. I blew into the Kleenix sheet before I continued. "And at the end... Do you know what he did? He bloody asked me if he should ask him out! The nerve of that wanker!"  
Gil wrapped his arm around my back and rubbed my arm. Al placed his hand on my knee. We leaned against each other and the wall behind us.  
"Did you... Make any contact at all?" Alfred whispered.  
I nodded. They both stared at me intently and held their breaths. The only way to find out if someone was your soulmate was to make some form of skin contact with them, whether it is a hug, a kiss or just a general brush of the hands. In this case, it was a slap. Even with the violent act, I still saw nothing. Just Black and White. Black and White. Black and White. It's always just Black and White.  
"Maybe next time, Arthur, yeah?" my Prussian companion smiled. My breath hitched again and I sniffled. The mattress wobbled slightly as Alfred got up and placed his fists on his hips.  
"Look, Arty, we'll find someone - promise - but right now, you need some rest." he said. There was something quite stern in his voice, however; something I've never heard before in my American friend before. His eyes averted to Gilbert and his mouth twitched a little. "Gil, in mean time, we need to talk. Now."  
Gil stared at him back before rubbing my arm once more. He kissed my forehead and my eyes widened. They both waited at the door until I tucked myself in. Once I heard the lock click, my trembling hand reached up to rub where his lips touched. Static. Electricity. Blue.

"Are you avoiding Gilbert?" Al asked as made out way to our next class. My laugh was nervous and I stared at the floor. Things have been fairly awkward around him during the past Twelve Months, but I seem to be the only one that feels that way. The two of them are still idiots together and my relationship with Alfred is okay, but it's different with Gil. There are no words I can think of that describes the situation I'm in. "Arthur, answer my question. He's on the trip today, so it's just us two." he said in all seriousness, which is very out of character for him. "I can keep a secret,"  
I sighed and bit my lip. Should I tell him the truth? Should I talk to him about the random sparks I've been feeling with Gilbert? Will it ruin our friendship? The thoughts that ran through my head almost spaced me out from Al again.  
"No. I'm not. I swear. This is probably all some misunderstanding," I quickly chuckled before he could question me thrice. He stared at me to try and see right through me. "Al, I promise. Me and Gil are fine."  
All he gave was a nod in response.

If Alfred Fucking Jones would prod me one more time, I was going to kill him. I took in a deep breath to try and not explode in the middle of English Class. Our teacher was playing a clip from A Midsummer Night Dream. I was enjoying it, but that was until an annoying American persisted on attacking my side. I just needed to calm down: Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath- that's it. I sharply turned to face him and scowled, my eyes burning into his head.  
"What do you want, Alfred?" I spat, venom practically spewing from my mouth. He gave me his usual cheesy grin and I swore I was going to slit his throat whilst he slept.  
"Can I copy the English homework?" he gingerly asked. Classic Al.  
I grunted and passed him my sheet under the desks. Luckily, the class was too focused on the film to notice us passing notes. Happy about the peace and quiet, I thought over everything once again. On our first year, when I fell on him, there was static. Colour. The same happened when he kissed my forehead the school year previous. Could me and Gilbert be... No, it's impossible. I would have surely noticed in Primary School. We have been friends since even before Primary School. Since Pre-School. Why didn't it show then? Why now? I heard a quiet rustle of paper coming from the side of me. I took my work from Alfred and he mouthed a little thank you before turning his attention to the video. I decided to do the same - I needed something to distract me from this.

I panted and cursed the person who invented Dodge Ball. Who would actually benefit from getting squishy spheres thrown at you at a high velocity? Bench Ball seemed to make more sense than this as there is actual teamwork and interception involved, but with this game, it just seems like you're aimlessly throwing around a ball hoping to catch someone out - and I'm not just saying that because I'm complete and utter pig crap at it. Al, however, being the sportiest person in the world, was knocking people on the opposing team left and right. I was very glad that he was with me, but even if he wasn't, he'd execute me softly because he knew it wouldn't take much for me to lose the game.  
There were only two remaining on the other team. A lot of us, including me, stood by the back and let Alfred lead our team to victory. My mind fell into a trance where it once again speculated my relationship and feelings towards Gilbert. I heard a chant of voices scream my name. It snapped me out of my illusion, but when I looked up, all I saw was grey. Pain spread across my face like wildfire. I yelped and collapse at the shock and collision; the air encased my lungs swiftly escaped. I covered my face to try and stop the burning tears from falling from my eyes. The coach blew the whistle and Alfred rushed to my side. People tried to crowd until Al shouted at them to give me some space.  
"Ah, mate, m'sorry. Us two are bad shots, but I guess I'm worse," David apologised. I assumed he was the one that had thrown the ball in the first place.  
I tried to talk, but they only came out as stutters and whines. Our Gym Trainer declared that I just needed to sit down as my nose didn't seem broken and I wasn't bleeding at all. I did, however, request for an Ice Pack to put down the flames that danced on my face. Al volunteered to sit with me and I was glad. I didn't really want to be alone. The whole of reality started to face away around me, but before my mind could wonder off again, he placed his hand on my knee and peered into my eyes.  
"Are you alright, Artie?" he asked, slightly rubbing my knee. I forced a smiled and bobbed my head. I was just so confused. My plan was supposed to be simple: Find a soulmate and live my life with them in colour. I never knew love was so... Complicated. I never knew that fate would be so cruel as to make me feel this way towards my best friend, especially Gilbert Beilschmidt: the only boy to make me slightly okay Black and White. His hair, his eyes, his body, they were Black and White but he's just too beautiful to hate. He's a complete and utter twat, but he's kind and caring at the same time. My head ran through the memories of us together and my body felt weak. Could it be that he felt the same as well? I replayed our times in Primary School.

_We played football with everyone in our class. I was standing in goal, mud smeared all over my legs and clothes. Since those in my team weren't so popular (or good at football) the other team weren't so merciful. Many balls had been kicked into my stomach with high momentum. I knew that there was going to be bruises everywhere by the morning. I sniffled and positioned myself so I was perfectly balanced. My hands reached out in front of me, ready to catch whatever was coming towards me. The scene in front of me was a blur. Alfred had passed to Berwald, then Berwald to Ludwig, then Ludwig to Ben- wait, Ben? Shit. I was in trouble. Ben was the best player on our team. He was the Striker - and he was one hell of a good striker. I held my breath. Closer. Closer. Closer.. And there. It came flying towards me like a comet. My body froze and my eyes shut tight, waiting for impact. A collection of moans and groans rose throughout the field. I peeped through a crack and gasped suddenly. The ball somehow flew slightly to the side and hit Gilbert in the groin. I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. How did the it just swerve like that? Did someone else kick it away? That would be the most logical explanation. A few others including myself went to comfort Gil whilst a couple went to go find the School Nurse. Some from the opposing team randomly caged Alfred and pushed him about. Stupid twats. I shouted at them to piss off. They just grunted then walked away._  
"A-Arthur," a German accent stammered. I looked down and started to stroke his head.  
"It's alright, Gil. I'm here." I smiled.  
"A-Arthur?" he repeated. Honestly, he's overreacting slightly. His injury wasn't fatal. "Arthur." he said once again. When did Alfred teach him how to perfect an American accent and why is he constantly saying my name? I don't understand what he's-  
"Arthur!" 

I fell out of my reminiscence spell and brought myself back to reality. Alfred was shaking my shoulders and David was standing beside us holding the ice with the same worried expression temporarily tattooed onto his face. My American friend smiled and rested his forehead on my shoulder. I should really stop spacing out today - especially since my head just got bashed by a Dodge Ball. I thanked David for the pack and pressed it against my cheek. Alfred intently stared at me. He placed his hand atop mine and parted his mouth, probably to ask me if I'm seriously okay.  
"Alfred, I'm fine. Slightly disorientated, but I'll be fine." I quickly lied before he had a chance to say a word. I didn't feel like talking about anything right now. He nodded understandingly and we both silently watched the game.

Our Topic for Citizenship would probably be my favourite. Soulmates. They talked about the basic stuff: we were born seeing black and white, the touch of our soulmate helps us see colour and once we were introduced to the new sight, our brain is fed new knowledge like the names and the shades. I wished that Al and Gil were here with me, but we unfortunately did not share the same class.  
I didn't really learn much, but that was a given. This one student, however, asked a very interesting question that I never really thought of before.  
'Is the touch thing the same for everyone or do only certain things work for certain people?'  
Our teacher struggled to think of an answer for that one. She, after a while, confirmed that is very possible that certain people may need certain touches. 'Special Touches' they were called. I wonder...  
I raised my hand and waited until my name was called. "Does all of the colour come at once or can it come a few at a time?"  
She laughed at our 'very creative questions' and took more time to ponder. She told us a rare case where this man saw flashes of colour until his soulmate did his 'Special Touch' and he was able to see all of the colours. I bit my lip. My heart seemed to crawl its way up my throat.

It's true, then. Me and Gilbert are soulmates.

Art was hilarious. Mr. Jay was scolding one of the students because he was laughing at the nude men and women in some of the paintings we had to observe. The things said were pretty... Interesting. Long story short, he has to move from the dorms back to his house now.  
"Joseph is a complete idiot!" Al bellowed as we made out way back to room. "The leaf is too small therefore his junk is microscopic? Comedy Gold right there!"  
We dumped all of our stuff on the floor and flopped onto our beds. Alfred came to join me at my side when I pulled out my laptop to watch another episode of Doctor Who with me. Since I am all caught up, I decided to start again from Christopher Eccleston to Peter Capaldi. Alfred expressed some interest in learning about it so I invited him to join me. We were currently on Tennant's last episode. I absolutely despised this one. No matter how many times I watched it, I always cried.

Wilfred knocked four times. I heard Alfred spitfire a bunch of 'shits' once he realized what had happened. He grabbed me and gulped rather loudly. I shared his reaction.  
"Does this mean the Doctor's going to regenerate?"  
"Just shut up and watch it," I sighed. He was too impatient.  
The Doctor was saying his final goodbyes to all the companions we encountered during his time. I grabbed Al's hand and squeezed once Luke Smith came to shot. I had always had a crush on him; ever since he made his first appearance on Sarah Jane Adventures. Those were the days.  
Now, it was Rose's turn. Both of us bit the insides of our cheeks and held on to each other. The Doctor flinched and caught Rose's attention. My breath got stuck in my throat when they started to converse. Tears raced down my cheeks. This scene always got to me. I felt a hand hold my chin and push it towards its owner. Al wiped my tears away. Our eyes held for a slightly longer than normal. My vision was slightly blurry from the water grouping so I had no idea what Alfred was devising. His fuzzy form was slowly getting bigger- wait, was he leaning towards me? Before I could find out, the door slammed open to reveal a very hyper Prussian. The springs bounced a little as Al bounced up to meet him. I arched my neck to rub my eyes. If Gil saw my state, then he would probably smother me.  
After quickly cleaning myself up, I slapped on a smile and went to go greet him as well. He stared at me keenly before taking my hand. Without any warning, he pulled me into a hug.  
"Why are you crying, Arthur?" he whispered into my ear. My breath hitched slightly as static seeped its way through my body once again. I pushed him away since the electricity became too much. He stared at me with a perplexed expression. A flash of red appeared in front of me.  
"D-Doctor Who." I stuttered quickly. They both glowered at each other before turning to me. "Promise."

Tutoring others will be the death of me. Some were too dull to understand some of the equations that I set them, however, I had maintain my patience with them. Once I was finally free, I sped walked my way back to the dorm. Since I had finished re-watching Doctor Who near the end of school last year, I decided to start on Merlin again. My fingers brushed against the door handle, but I stopped before I could turn it. Alfred and Gilbert were talking about something rather serious. I pressed my ear against the door to try and amplify their faint voices.  
'Listen, we're not going to come to a conclusion if we keep doing this.'  
'You're right, but he has to have some choice in this as well, not just us.'  
They were too quiet so I couldn't quite make our their voices. What ever they even talking about? What choice are they talking about?  
'Look, we'll talk about this later. Arthur should be coming back from his lessons soon and he can't know about this at all.'  
I groaned in slight annoyance. Screw the two of them for knowing my schedule so well. Seeing that there was no point in seeing if they were going to continue, I entered into the room. The two were glaring at each other in the middle of the carpet. Whatever they were conversing about must have been pretty intense.

"Year Sevens annoy me," I groaned as I rolled on my bed. Earlier today there were a group of them blocking the whole hallways as they waited outside their class. Even after politely telling them to move aside, they had rolled their eyes and stayed where they were. Fucking pricks.  
"Wow, you're a ball of sunshine this afternoon," Gil sighed. I gave him a quick thumbs up before staring up at the ceiling. I heard squeaky wheels against carpet and footsteps come towards me. I closed me eyes and felt the mattress sink down slightly. My whole body tensed. My hand gripped the sheets. We lay silent for a while.  
"Can I ask you something?"  
And there they were: the words I dreaded to hear. Ever since the Citizenship lesson the previous year, I was trying to avoid any contact from him ever. I wasn't sure if any of us will be able to comprehend the fact that the two of us may be soulmates. I personally wasn't ready to test this out. I shook my head and started to push myself up, but something heavier rolled on top of me. Gilbert pushed me down and pinned my wrists down. Tears pricked my eyes and my chest felt constricted. I wasn't ready.  
Something in his stare was intimidating. Colours were flashing everywhere. Fear was soaking into my veins. My stomach rumbled with nausea. Cold spikes stabbed into every patch of skin uncovered. I wasn't ready. I wasn't bloody ready.  
I squirmed under his grasp. Anxiety and dread practically oozed out of me whilst my eyes screamed and begged at him to stop whatever he was doing, but no matter how much I convinced myself I didn't want this, some part of me wanted him to continue. What the hell did I drink this morning? Hovering over me, he just watched me struggle. His face showed no emotion and his eyes looked lifeless. I was hyperventilating, desperate to escape from his cage.  
"Listen, would you?" he growled. I stopped instantly, too frightened to disagree. "I just... Let... Let me try something, damn it."  
My eye lids felt heavy and slammed closed. I was almost certain that my bottom lip was inhumanely quivering. The wait felt like an eternity, but I knew only five Earth seconds had passed. I was starting to wonder if he would actually do it. After a few milliseconds, a pair of lips took my own. The whole world came to a halt. I felt lightheaded and my body just fell flacid. His grasp on my wrists loosened. I had to chance to escape, but my body refused and rebelled against my mind. Instead of pushing him away, my arms wrapped around his neck. Instead of submerging my body into the bed to distance myself, it pressed up against him. Instead of slapping him, my hands tangled themselves into his hair. After hours later (or more realistically, about twenty seconds later), my brain overcame my body and shoved him away. My eyes flung open and I gasped at the sight. Colour. Colour everywhere. A small laugh appeared on my mouth. It was incredible. The room. The desks. The books. Everything. They were correct when they said that the power of soulmates were incredible.  
My eyes averted over to Gilbert. He looked even more stunning than usual. His eyes shined and burst with colour. The uniform. Our uniform. This was all too much to take in. My hand hugged his own and I beamed at him.  
"Do you see that?" I asked, my breath literally being whisked away by the amazement.  
"See what?"

My whole world span. He knew what I was talking about, right? He could see what I was seeing too, right? Right?  
My face completely fell. It all came from a Hundred back down to zero. I was almost certain that I looked the polar opposite as to what I looked like before. This couldn't be possible. This was completely impossible. He must just be messing around - there is no way this could be one-sided. That was impossible. I have never seen any stories on the news, on books or on anything about any one-sided soulmate. I started to feel sick again.  
"O-Oh!" he spluttered. "Th-The colour, you mean. It's beautiful, Arthur. I'm sorry, I just spaced out. You just.. You look.. I'm speechless."  
I made a note in the back of my mind to thank the living daylights out of God tonight. I sighed in relief and embraced him. The colours seemed to heighten my senses. They were correct when they said it gave you new knowledge and understanding that one could only receive first-hand. I breathed his scent in relaxed against him. Everything about him was more beautiful.  
His blue hair.  
His yellow eyes.  
His pale skin.  
Everything was just right.

We had dived under my covers and continued to move our mouths against each other. He snaked his arms around my hips and pulls me close. The warmth and love seized my heart and held it like a hostage. Everything in the world seemed to be going right.  
I pushed him away and gazed into his eyes. I still couldn't get over how golden they looked. "Gilbert, what colour am I?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.  
He smiled and brushed my hair behind my ear. "Your eyes look like a precious and fragile Emerald, carefully polished, carefully handled; and your hair is a rich blonde, glorious and shining."  
The butterflies attacked and ate the side of my stomach. "You sound like my mum,"  
We both laughed. My mother used to tell me my colours all the time as a child. I never knew how accurate she was.

Alfred walked in on us. The door slowly squeaked open and I practically pushed my Lapis Lover off the bed. He was unfortunately wrapped in my blanket and took it with him as he fell. Well, shit. Our American roommate couldn't seem to fathom what he just witnessed. We all sat in stillness; the pressure crushing both me and Gilbert. Once he processed everything in his head, he stormed out.  
"Al!" I yelled and chased after him. His body was strained and his hands were clasped tight. This was not how it was supposed to fold out at all. I grabbed his shoulder and stopped him from storming. His breathing was loud and deep. "Why are you so mad about this?"  
His jaw tightened. "I'm sorry, but seeing my two best friends getting it on might let some emotions go wild,"  
He had a point. We both stared at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Do you see.. You know..." He mumbled. Gilbert caught up to the both of us. I looked up and read his language. He could hardly look at me. I knew this would happen, and I just let it play out. My gut hated me. Hell, even I hated me. Due to my lack of response, he glanced up at me with eyes glossed over. I rubbed my arm anxiously and nodded. Al's attention changed to the Prussian before averting back to me. "What colour am I?"  
I studied him carefully. Since the whole colour thing was new to me, searching for the right names was slow.  
"Red hair. Green eyes." I muttered quietly. He tilted his head and looked past me. "Gil has Blue hair and Yellow eyes. Both of you look... Amazing with colour."  
His eyes flickered between me and Gilbert. The tension wouldn't leave us. I reached behind me and grabbed Gil's hand. Both others looked very surprised at my unusual action.  
"Listen, Al, please don't be mad at us. We just found out today. Honestly, we weren't going too far. Please.. Just.. Don't be mad. I swore, we were going to tell you. We didn't want you to find out this way. I know it's hard to understand, but please, just listen,"  
His mute return was giving me more stress than necessary. He rubbed the back of neck and released a breath. He placed his hand on Gil's shoulder, nodded, then returned to the dorm.

GCSE was just pure agony. Since I was in Advanced Classes, my group had to do harder course work than usual, and I regretted even working to the best of my ability. I buried my face into my hands and groaned. Gil laughed and planted a kiss on my forehead.  
"You'll be fine, you Scheissekopf. No point stressing. You're one of the smartest guys I know,"  
I rolled my eyes. He was an incredibly cheesy. I sometimes wonder what I see in him. He drove his chair and situated himself beside me. I was very grateful that the Year Eleven rooms were fairly bigger to fit in some desks. Each one came with a light stand and a couple folder stands.  
All three of us had gotten past the drama. Alfred had learned to accept the fact that we were a couple, but he still distanced himself from the both of us. He was always with other people or by himself. The rare occasions when we were all together was when we were celebrating something or when we were all drunk or hungover on a Saturday, but even then, he did minimal speaking.  
Gil checked his answers against mine and frowned. He pouted at me like a kicked puppy and I sighed and started to some of the answers. Mid-explanation, a sharp/ pain spiked from my ear. My body went through a slight spasm.  
"Stop nibbling my ear, you git!" I half commanded, half moaned. His fingers prodded and poked my sides. I struggled and squirmed even more than humanely possible. His weight shifted onto me and my chair lost its balance. My life flashed before my eye as I slowly fell backwards. Gilbert yanked my arm and I dropped the other direction instead. I found myself almost straddling him; a faint blush spread across the both of our faces. Our faces were too close for comfort.  
"Thanks, love," I said, my voice faltering slightly. His hold on my arm loosened and moved down to my hips. He lifted me up and placed me more perfectly on his lap. I ran my hand through his dark blue hair and inched my face closer. Before our lips made any sort of contact, Alfred intruded. Great. Just what I needed right now.  
"For once, I would like to walk into a normal scene." he griped bitterly. "You should have signed up for a separate room."  
I climbed off and moped at the ground, guilt eating my stomach like a piranha. Ever since that fateful day, Al had been extremely salty with the both of us. He and Gilbert had not been able to talk to each other without having a rambunctious argument.  
"Don't listen to him, Arthur. He's just bitter because he can't find someone." And there we go again.  
The two of them started to scream once again. I covered my ears, hoping they would shut up soon. Their disputes were very aggravating sometimes. I picked my chair back up and returned to the work I left earlier. Seeing as Gil made a few mistakes on his sheet, I decided to note down some corrections in pencil for him so he could check when those two finish their quarrel.  
"Oh, and you have him doing your homework now!"  
Brilliant. Wonderful. This is what I'm stuck with for the rest of the year.

Children. They act completely like children. My mother was smart to make me pack an emergency medical kit; if she didn't, I'd have two suspended and injured morons. I had to sit the both of them at opposite ends of the room to stop them from spitting at each other.  
"This wouldn't have happened if Gilbert would've just shut his mouth-"  
"Hey, you started it!"  
"Both of you, just be quiet!" I shouted. This was seriously starting to test my patience. Alfred tried not to wince as I dabbed the antiseptic on his lip, but he was clearly failing. I formulated a plan as I cleaned up his wounds. That might just work. As soon as I had finished nursing them, I stood up and took my key from the desk. "Now both of you stay here. Move, and I'll stitch your lips together." I threatened. Both seemed fairly startled blackmail.

I departed the room and locked them both inside. I heard frantic footsteps run to the exit and bang on the door. They were pleading m to grant them freedom, but saying that I was exasperated at their behaviour was a complete understatement. They needed to make up and they needed to do it fast.  
"I'm not letting you guys out until you talk about whatever the hell is making you fight. I am done with how you guys are acting, alright? I just want all of us to be friends again like the old days."  
"Arthur, you realize we have keys of our own, right?" Alfred cockily grunted. I could only assume that they were reaching for their said keys in their pockets. If only I could witness their reaction right now.  
"Guys, I grew up with three brothers, remember? Picking pockets isn't exactly new to me."  
Now I really wished I could see their faces. The air fell silent for a few seconds and I waited for a sound that signified some sort of formation of a rebellion or at least a groan of distress, but there was nothing. It was absolutely still. Decided that was good enough, I left them both to soak in their own pity.

I waited out in the library as it was open until 9pm at weekends. They have been isolated for almost two hours now. I had alerted them via phone to send me a text once they had finished. I had expected them to call me five minutes later and lie saying that they had already made up, but they are genuinely doing this. It made me proud.  
It bothered me how they both kept secrets from me. What rough thing was happening between those two that causes them to do this? Why is Alfred acting so envious? Nothing makes sense anymore. Everyone used to say that as I get older, the more things will make sense, but that seems to be the polar opposite right now. I hope they will open up to me soon so I can help with whatever is annoying them.  
A very loud and quite startling noise emitted from my pocket. Crap. I forgot to put it on silent. The librarian - or as is better known as, the goblin - gave me a very violent hush accompanied with a menacing scowl. It must be either Gilbert or Alfred telling me that it was okay to return. Perfect, I could escape before I got into too much trouble. To my surprise, the message came from Kiku. He occupied the room next to ours.

 **Kiku Honda to Arthur Kirkland:** Hello, Arthur-San. sory too bother yu, but is everything ok with yor roommates? there was a lot of shout beefor but then it came too a stop. I tink yu nead check on em

Kiku was a new student that had just joined this year. Since he had only been in England for a few months, his English was very rusty. Normally, I would never be able to tolerate that (which is also the reason as to why no one texts me) but he's an exception.

 **Arthur Kirkland to Kiku Honda:** Ah, I can see why that is worrying. Thank you for this message, Kiku. It is much appreciated.

If their shouting levels had decreased gradually, then there wouldn't be much to worry about, but the fact that there was yelling one second then quiet the next was very suspicious. If they started to wrestle once again and one had knocked out the other, I would never forgive either of them.  
I lingered outside for a few moments to see if I could hear anything they were saying. The whole hallway was mute. I cocked my head slightly so my ear could press against the door. There were voices, but they were very muffled. The accents weren't very distinct, so once again, I didn't know who was saying what. Curse these thicker walls.  
'Look... Jealous.. Fair is fair...'  
'I... But... Colour Blind... Can you... Truth.. Now..'  
What were they talking about? Who are they talking about? Why does being colour blind matter? What does that mean; does that affect the relationship between soulmates or something? Even so, why does that matter to them? It could be possible that one of their close relatives or friends are colour blind for whatever reason and it is causing great outbursts of frustration. Still, that wouldn't make sense as to why they're being very harsh with each other, and besides, they would tell me, right? I felt nauseated at just the thought of them not trusting me. We have been through almost everything together - why wouldn't they tell me something like this? Perhaps they were scared that it would've changed my view on soulmates? Yeah, that's it. That has to be the only logical reason - or so I convinced myself.  
'Can I... Him... Maybe I have...'  
'No... Shades... Love him...'  
I frowned in displeasure at how poor I was at picking up their words. Some sentences just weren't complete; others made no sense at all. Their tone was so hushed that almost everything was disguised. I strained to hear it, but it was almost impossible.  
'Right... Text him...'  
Wait, were they going to text me? Shit, if they find out I'm here, then I'm screwed. I power walked further down the hall before the signal went off. I should really remember to silence it. I calmly returned to the door and unlocked the door. They both stared at me.  
"Were you waiting outside the room?" Al asked, his voice sounding fairly concerned. They really don't want me to knew what's wrong. I shook my head and tried to make a confused expression on my face. "We heard your phone go off in the hall. You sure?"  
"I was at the library, but I got bored, so I was gonna knock in to see if you guys were done,"  
It looked to be that my lie convinced them. I released the breath I hadn't realized I was supressing. A thick blanket of discomfort covered the room. All three of us stood around like awkward ducks. This was going to be a long night.

Gilbert was at an open day meeting today. Since his family background is Prussian, his mother and father took great pride in teaching him all the history and traditions that their parents taught them before the nation fell. The school thought it would be a good idea to showcase some information about the former country as a subtopic in the German Department. It took a lot of convincing to try and make him not complain to the school that Prussia should have their own stand.  
Since I was Head Boy, my appearance was compulsory. I had to show families around and brag about how amazingly flawless our school was (which everyone knew was just a complete lie.)  
A couple weeks have passed since I trapped my two roommates in with each other. They seemed to act more neutral with each other nowadays, but the normal conversations have hardly progressed. Since Alfred and I were alone in our room, I had planned to assassinate him with questions and a faint hope that he would actually answer them.

He bounced a small ball against the bottom of the upper bunk and I had just finished up a History Essay. This was it. My abdomen felt heavy as I mentally prepared myself. My legs shook slightly and I took deep breaths in and out. I had a last minute mental rehearsal of all the questions and witty comebacks I made a metaphorical note of.  
"Alfred." I started. You caught his attention. So far, so good-  
"I'm not telling you anything about why me and Gil are so pissed off at each other." he bluntly said, carrying on with his mini-game. He must've seen my sulk because he rolled off his bed and ruffled my hair. "I'm sorry, Arthur, but we think it's better if you don't know. The plight we're in right now is complicated."  
A little 'hmph' escaped from my mouth. I suppose they do have the right to their privacy. My pride got the best of me and I was being selfish; I'm such a nitwit sometimes. I twisted myself round to apologies, but something stopped me from speaking. The colours started to flash once more. Everything was changing. I inhaled a familiar scent and felt a rush of dread impale my heart. Without thinking, I raised my hand and struck.

That idiot. That git. That traitor. How could he do that to me? My hand still stung from the violent meeting with his cheek. My head drummed and my body felt frail. What was happening to me? What did he do? The colours span around the room like a twister. At random times, my vision switched from shades to rainbow. It was too much. All of this was just too much.  
"Artie, please wait! I'm sorry! I can explain! Just please!"  
Oh, how the tables have turned. Memories of our places switched resurfaced. I felt the familiar sense of pain, but in this round, they were amplified. In what world would that even be considered as an okay thing to do - especially under the condition we were all facing? He must be confused. My mind must be confused. I felt like throwing up. Blinded in rage, I crashed into another being loitering in the halls. Bloody students. They have been here for long enough to know that just standing about like a twat is never a good idea.  
The stranger grabbed me by my shoulders and held me in place. I growled at the fool who dared to interfere and readied to cuss them out, but the closer I stared at him the most I seemed to recognize him. Gilbert? My Gilbert? Can't be. My Gilbert's hair is blue, this one's hair is silver. My Gilbert's eyes are yellow, this one's eyes are red. How could this be the same person - that is, if they are the same person at all. A doppelganger, maybe? No. I knew everyone in our year, but this can't be my Gilbert. He just can't be. Alfred pushed the copycat away and they started to bicker before they broke up into a fight. The whole room just seemed to rotate. Teachers ran in from the corner to break them up. The last thing I recalled were people holding them back, then everything went black.

_My skin felt like ice. What was happening to me? I looked around. There was nothing but black and white everywhere. There was no land, no water; just black and white that stretched out into the same coloured horizon. I laughed at myself. It was quite ironic, honestly. My whole life, I was desperate in trying to escape the black and white, but now I'm encaged in it. I tried to rush things and used people for my own benefit. This is my punishment. This is what I get for being selfish._  
Shades reached out as far as the eye can see. There was nothing else, just black and white- hold on. What was that? A small grey figure grew bigger and bigger - inching closer and closer. A white hue shone on the outline of the ghost-like character. The nearer it got, the more evident it became that they had the anatomy of an adult woman. She called out my name. Closer. Closer. The facial features started to form. Was this my angel coming to answer my answers? Closer.. Closer.. Almost..  
An explosion erupted from either side of us. Two identical figures rose from the newly opened hole in the ground, however, one was a rainbow and the other was black and white. They both whizzed around the room duelling each other. The room started to crumble. I looked around frantically, searching for my angel to save me from this terror. I shouted for her - pleaded for her, but she was gone; she left me too. Tears pricked my eyes. I had no idea what to do. Everything was falling apart right in front of me and all I could do was watch. I want to help. I just want all of this to stop. The ceiling caved in on the three of us. All I could do was scream.  
Everything I knew; everything I know... Gone. 

I sprung up from my bed and gasped heavily. Gilbert and Alfred ran to my side in sheer hysteria. My whole body was covered in cold sweat and I shook uncontrollably. Everything was back to black and white. Brilliant. Savannah, the dorm nurse, practically pried the two others away from me. She did the usual procedure: checking my temperature, my blood pressure and my pulse. Once she deemed me healthy, she ordered me to rest for the rest of the day and to not attend classes tomorrow and that my teachers were to be emailed and informed. I still had no idea what was going on, but I had no energy to argue with her. My head lolled over to face my two companions. They stared at me with concern written all over their face. My body was so drained I could hardly reassure them. The most I could do was flash them a small smile before falling unconscious once again.

"This is all your fault. If you hadn't kissed him or messed with us, then this would have never happened." it echoed. My eyes felt like weights. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't force them open. The two of them continued to converse. They must think that I'm still out.  
"Look, we both liked him and we both made some moves, but I was the one who got him fair and square. You had no right to interfere with our relationship."  
Wait, Alfred liked me? Was this the reason why their friendship is so tense - because they both wanted to pursue me? I suppose it all added up. The rivalry between those two was more fierce than most. The touches that Gilbert gave me. The kiss on the forehead. Alfred leaning into me whilst we were watching Doctor Who. His envious reaction towards the two of us together... But there was just one more thing that didn't fit in...  
"At least I didn't lie to him about seeing colour."

What?

"Look, I had no choice, okay? He saw colour and I was in love with him. You should have seen his face. You weren't there. You didn't see the way he almost fell from Cloud Nine. I had no choice."

What?

"But the fact is he's colour blind now and it's all thanks to you. This whole thing is one sided and it has effected negatively on him. We both know that his description of us were completely wrong."

What?

I weakly rose from my horizontal state. They turned and sighed in relief. They were happy. I was devastated. Their heads tilted in sync, both obviously baffled. My stare was a mixture of hate, betrayal and that small piece of hope. Hope that they knew I was awake all along. Hope that they were just pranking me. Hope that everything they said was a lie just to scare me. Hope that everything I heard was a dream somehow. I didn't want to believe any of that was true. It can't be. Impossible. It has to be impossible.  
"You heard everything, didn't you?"  
As I nodded. I heard all of our hearts sink and shatter. The whole world around us seemed to crumble out of existence and we were back in that black and white cage. Their lips trembled as they tried to form words but their throats kept them like prisoners. We were all desperate to break this silence - the oh so suffocating silence, but all of us stayed reticent.  
"Artie, Gil and I can explain-"  
"You lied to me. You both lied to me. Why?" I cried. I was far too jaded to deal with all of their bullshit. "I've had it up to here with all you guys talking behind my back. Why didn't you tell me? I trusted the both of you. You know how much colour is important to me, but all of that just turned out to be a bloody lie? Everything I saw. Everything I believed was true was just a... Façade?"  
The two of them stood bashfully. Gilbert stepped forward and I shuffled away. A simple act of affection won't be able to clean up the mess they made. He cringed and took the hint. My view became clouded as water glazed over them. There was nothing left to say.

Kiku and his roommate, Feliciano, were brilliant friends. Studying with them was better considering only Feli struggled sometimes with the work. If it was a good day and we didn't have any work to do, we would hang around outside and talk and read. If it was raining, then we would be in the computer room playing some flash games that we discovered during a random internet surf. We shared some parts of our lives, but we weren't as close as I was with my former friends. They both told me about their love lives, which was interesting to listen to. Kiku met his soulmate by pure accident. He was sitting in the canteen when Sadik spilled some water on him. His friend, Heracles, got some towels and started to clean him up. When their skin brushed together, a burst of colour appeared.  
Feli, on the other hand, was developing a crush on Gilbert's younger cousin, Ludwig Beilschmidt. The affectionate Italian has made contact with him, but there was nothing special happened. They've hugged, briefly held hands and have done most forms of contact. The only thing left to try was a kiss.  
I felt guilty that I never shared anything personal about myself. The whole colour blind ordeal was too much for me to handle. My relationship with Gilbert was terminated and my friendship with Alfred was practically non-existent. The only times when we saw each other was late at night and early morning, but even those moments were brief. I usually woke up extra early in the morning and camped out in the Atrium to avoid them. I knew that I have to face them eventually, but right now, all I want to do is put that off as much as I can.

I regretted everything. To celebrate the end of exam week, Kiku bought a bottle of Shochu, Awamori (an alcoholic Japanese drink) and I drank the majority of the bottle. Now I was as drunk as an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day. Inserting the key into the hole was the equivalent to Hell. The concept of time felt like an illusion, so I had no idea how long I was struggling outside. I barged in and scowled at the backstabbers I lived with.  
"Arthur? Did you drink?" Gilbert questioned. He placed his hands on my hips to try and hold me up. If I wasn't so sluggish then I would have successfully been able to distance his body from mine. I flailed against his chest in attempt to get him off me. His touch felt foreign; how long has it been since he's held me like this- no. I can't fall under his spell. We're over. He lied to me. He broke my trust and as did Alfred.

My moves were flimsy and showed fill evidence that I am not able to retire to bed. They stood at either side of me and acted as my human crutches. Damn me and my inability to hold my liquor. I was lowered down and l I felt myself sink into the mattress. They muttered in private, probably arguing over who would be watching me at night. Stupid gits. I didn't need them babysitting- fuck. I jumped up and sprinted into the bathroom. That was probably the most movement I've done in the past couple hours. I curled over the bowl and my stomach attempted to empty the excessive amount of alcohol in my body. Why do I insist on doing this to myself? Alfred followed and Gilbert ran outside - assumingly getting water.

They forced me to recline against the wall because they were scared that if I stayed in a vertical position then I would choke on my own vomit. As morbid as it sounded, it was very possible, which made me ponder on why I enjoyed consuming booze. Gilbert winced at my foul breath and joined Alfred. I giggled at the both of them sitting opposite me. It wasn't everyday you see them beside each other and not squabbling.  
"Arthur, I know that now is probably the shittiest time to talk about to this, but I have a feeling that this will be the only time you'll actually listen to us." Gilbert said uneasily. I rolled my eyes in response. I was drunk. I was sick and I'm probably going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. Thank God it was Friday. Whatever they were doing to say, I probably wasn't going to remember it by tomorrow morning.  
"We're sorry, alright? We were selfish and we just didn't consider your feelings. We should have just told you from the start and listened to what you wanted to do. We're so fucking sorry, Arthur, and we just want you to be in our lives again, so, we decided that instead of fighting, we would let you decided who you want to be with - that is - if you want to be with any of us at all. If not, then at least let us try to repair our friendship with you again." Alfred explained. I cross-examined what he said in my head and thought of my response, which was fairly hard considering I was completely hammered. Eventually perceiving that I wasn't going to verbally reply, Alfred continued. "Listen, Arthur, you probably hate my guts for kissing you, but I had to. When Gilbert told me that you were colour blind, I just needed to test something. I swore I never knew that it would be that bad. You saw the colours change when you were with me, right? My hair was blonde and his hair was grey. I saw it too. I'm in love with you, Arthur, and now I know that we're soulmates it has just augmented that love."  
It was a lot to take in. I reflected on all of my memories with him and tried to think on times when he tried to advance onto me, but I was either too oblivious to understand his motives or something else was distracting me from them. My attention averted to Gilbert. It was his turn now.  
"Well, Arthur, I don't have much to say but I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life seeing black and white; just as long as I spend it with you."  
I blushed slightly. His speech was short, but it was genuine; that's what I love so much about him, but that also gives me extra strain. What do I choose: Love or Fate?

Saying that my predictions were correct was a complete understatement. My brain felt like it was going to explode. Hell, my whole body felt like it was going to explode. I had to get up multiple times during the night just so I could empty the contents of my stomach. It got to the point where I had to eat something just so I could regurgitate it back up. It was one of the worst nights of my life.  
To my surprise, the only thing I can recall from last night was what they said to me. Everything else was just a quick blur. We went through our lives as normal and they allowed me space to think. We hardly ever communicated or looked at each other. I was starting to miss it.

I entered into my chamber when I instantly felt regret. The creak of the door was accompanied by shouts of protest, but it was already too late. I was greeted with the picture of Alfred dripping wet in his birthday suit. I shifted to face the door and gave him time to throw on his clothing.  
"A-Alright. You can look now." he stammered. We both gingerly settled ourselves on opposite sides of the room. The silence was suffocating the both of us. I was pretty sure that I needed to wash my brain with bleach at least ten times to remove that image. At least. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking? What are you even doing back at this time?"  
"Knocking? To my own dorm? And I could ask you the same thing. " I countered somehow maintaining my composure. I couldn't be bothered to have an argument; I just wanted to get out of here. "If you must know, the Council Meeting was cut short because the teachers had to tend to an emergency. What are you doing here?"  
"We were the emergency," he laughed, "the coach tried to get a football out of a tree, fell and sprained his back.. Which is.. Actually not that funny," he muttered, the corners of his mouth slowly curling into a frown. We both inspected the floor as conversion made a clear finish. I tried to stealthily shuffle towards the door without being noticed, but he seemed to detect my escape attempts and slammed his body against the door. I cringed at the noise the collision gave out. After making a quick recovery, his gaze snapped up to meet my own shocked one. "Ah, fuck, sorry. I panicked. I just - you see - I need - uhm.." he falterd. "Can I... Kiss you?"  
"E-Excuse me?!" I stammered loudly. Why did he ask this so suddenly? He advanced towards me slowly and bit his lip. "Listen, I don't know if it's a good idea. I mean, what if Gilbert walks in? It's unfair to him if you get a kiss and he doesn't - and we have to be fair, I can't just be biased and-"  
"Arthur, I just want to let you see colour again," his face was inches from mine. "Just say something when you want me to stop," he mumbled. My eyes squeezed shut, my mind contemplating whether I should say something or not. My lips parted slightly, but I didn't know if it was because I was ready to kiss him or ready to stop him. It was now or never. I placed my hands on my chest. He paused slightly to analyse my action. I grabbed his shirt and smashed out lips together. They moved perfectly against each other like they were made for each other. His hands reached down to hold the hips perfectly sculpted to fit his palms. Our heads were tilted at the perfect angle. Our movement was perfectly in sync. Everything about us was perfect, so why didn't it feel perfect?  
He pulled away and Diamonds met Emerald. I thought about those Sparkling Amber ones that used to belong to someone I was formerly so close to. I've made my decision.

I paced in our room and awaited for the two others to arrive. I have excuse myself from the usual studying session I had with Kiku, Feli and Lugwig. I had told them my situation on the same night my two best friends made me choose between them. I was apparently so drunk that everything spilled out. I told them about my dad, my brothers and the dilemma with my two best friends. They confronted me the next day and I appreciated their honesty; they really proved to be very trustworthy friends. The weight on my shoulders felt a little lighter since I was able to talk to someone about it. The pain in my heart lessened a little when they helped and gave their own opinions.  
The only sound in the room was the clock ticking. I gave it a quick glance to check how much longer they would be. Baseball Practices finished around fifteen minutes ago, so if they're taking showers down at the gym, then they should be back any minute now. I heard the lock click. Make that any second now. They were complimenting each other on their performances during the peer matches, but it all came to a halt when they noticed my presence in the room. My facial expression was enough to tell them what I was about to say.

"I'm sorry, but I can't be selfish. I hope you understand where I'm coming from because I honestly can't do that to you. It's just unfair. We can still be friends, though, yeah? No matter what?"  
He nodded. I gave him a half-smile and a hug before turning to my chosen one. He placed his hand upon mine and squeezed it slightly, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. I smiled and we shared a hug, but this one slightly longer than appropriate.  
"I guess I'll leave the both of you to have your moment," the other sighed. I tried to protest, but he insisted that he was fine. Knowing I wasn't going to win, I left him to do whatever he wanted. "Treat him with care because he's the most awesome person in the world, okay? Take care of him, Alfred, promise me that."  
Al nodded and held out his pinky-finger. Satisfied, the apparent silver haired boy left. I stared after the door and prayed that I made the correct choice. I hoped and wished that he understood and could continue on happily with his life. I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I shifted my body around. Alfred looked so happy. Alfred pulled me into a giant hug. Alfred laughed into my neck. Alfred squeezed my body. I could see Alfred. I could touch Alfred. I was with Alfred. Why was I thinking of Gilbert?

I had introduced my roommates to our neighbours. As expected, Feli got along with them very quickly, but Kiku wasn't so fast. He was a very reserved and respectful man. Becoming his friend wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it. The plan was originally a study date, but Gilbert had still decided to tag along. He said that he wanted just wanted to tease his younger cousin and my heart fell a little. I shook off the feeling. Why was I so disappointed in the first place; his point was legitimate. What other reason could he have to come with us?  
The scene around me was fairly happy. Feli and Alfred seemed to be content with chatting and working at the same time whilst Gilbert annoyed the living daylights out of Ludwig. Kiku, Heracles and I kept to each other and mainly focused on our work, but we did take some seconds to watch everyone else. Everything and everyone was just perfect and happy, so why does my heart feel so bad?  
The longer I was in this relationship with Alfred, the more I felt distant from him. Sure, he was kind and loving. Sure, he was beside me most of the time. Sure, he was supportive and brilliant and amazing and flawless, but I was more depressed than usual. This wasn't how things were meant to be. I was meant to feel undying love for him. I was meant to feel relaxed and free when I'm with him and lost without him, but it things seem to be in reverse at the moment. He's my souldmate. Why am I like this? Am I sick? Why? Why? Why?

Gilbert maintained his friendship with the both of us. He never went to far, but he didn't act too immature around the both of us. It was like old times, but there was something that wasn't quite right. I couldn't pinpoint it, but there was something different about him; it made no sense. There was something in those Garnet Eyes that seemed so familiar yet so different.

It was Summer Time. Since we were in Britain, we didn't have a big and fancy graduation ceremony (much to Al's dismay) but all of our parents had planned a nice small celebration party back in our home town. It upset me to leave the dorms I knew so well, but I knew that I didn't have the fret that much. I was coming back into this school for Sixth Form and we had all planned to be roommates again. For obvious reason, my feelings were very mixed about that.  
"Dude, the cab will be here in five minutes! Go get Gilbert!" Alfred shouted as I ran across the campus. Gilbert fell behind and told us that he would catch up, but he hasn't appeared yet.  
I recollected and fixed my appearance before entering. I catch myself doing this a lot nowadays, but it's only around Gil. I can't grasps why; we were over. Just friends.  
I turned the handle to see Gilbert staring outside the window. The dorm looked much bigger now there was a lack of stuff in it. I smiled and walked up to join him.  
"I'm going to miss this place, aren't you?" I started. I took in a small glimpse of him. The sunlight kissed his face perfectly. His silver hair shone like the element it was named after. His Ruby eyes sparkled. This Gilbert was beautiful, but he was nothing compared to my Gilbert. My Lapis Gilbert. My Amber Gilbert. "I can't wait to see what the Sixth Form Dorms look like. I'm pretty sure three quarters of the rumours are all lies, but still. They're probably magnificent."  
He stayed silent for a while. From the corner of my eye, I witnessed his jaw tense and his hand brushed against mine. I felt the old Static we used to feel all the time. I missed it. He twisted his head to face me. I returned the gaze. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.  
"Arthur, I'm not coming back."

The only thing that filled the cab was Alfred's snores and the sound of the car slicing through the wind. I was still shaking from the news that Gil broke to me. It was hard to keep all of the tears in, but I forced myself to do it as I couldn't be asked to deal with Al's questioning. I couldn't deal with anything at the moment.  
"Listen, Arthur, I just... It's hard, alright, and it's been messing my head up. I'm still so sickly in love with you. I know I promised and I know I'm being selfish; believe me, I didn't want to tell you like this, Arthur. Just looks like the awesome me will share my awesomeness somewhere else. I haven't told my parents yet, but I'm going to somehow tell them that I want to move. I'm sorry. We'll stay in touch though, I promise that much."  
My breath hitched slightly. I did this. This was all my fault. Looks like I can't do anything right without fucking something up. I stared at him from the back seat and my heart broke. I can't believe that I was so oblivious to how he was feeling. His eyes... They were cracked. Broken. I didn't notice. I made it worse. It was my fault.

"Arthur, you've been quiet since you've come back. Are you okay?" my mom asked. I nodded silently and stuffed some more food into my mouth. It was only her and me until my brothers come back from their jobs/universities, so she's been speaking and inspecting me more often. "You seem sadder, honey. What's wrong? You can tell me."  
Well, I suppose I can talk to her. She'd probably know what to do. "Mum, what would you do if you find your soulmate.. But you didn't love them?"  
She looked surprise for a moment as if I was speaking gibberish. Of course she wouldn't understand. This is the woman who found her sight and instantly felt the connection. She contemplated for a while then gasped rather suddenly. "Oh, Arthur, love, is this happening to you? You should have told me form the very beginning!"  
I started to tear up. I remembered all the stress. Gilbert wanting to leave. Alfred being my soulmate. It was all so much. I started to tell her everything.

"Soulmates are genetically made to be with each other, but having someone else as well? I've never heard of something else happening. You might be the first, Artie!" she giggled softly. My face maintained low. She sighed and transitioned into her serious mode. "Listen, some people find their soulmates and some people don't. What you feel is perfectly normal, dear. I have some friends who's perfectly happy with someone else and have no interest in finding their soulmate,"  
She had a point, but how would I break it to Gilbert and Alfred? The amount of strain this is going to give them. Shit. It's just one problem after another. "What about Gilbert?"  
"What about him? He said he was willing to live his life not experiencing colour, correct? If he means it, then you guys will have a wonderful relationship. There's absolutely no harm in at least trying something."  
"And Alfred?"  
"If he truly cares then he'll understand. He'll move on eventually and find someone else - and both you and Gil can help him. You'll all be okay, Arthur. Everything will be okay."  
Mums really do know everything. What kind of an idiot was I? My eyes were so blinded with the wish of finding my soulmate and seeing colour that I forgot what really matters in relationships: Love. I was in love with Gilbert.  
I gave her a half-smile and mumbled a small thanks. I continued to eat and ponder. I needed to figure out how to tell them.

Since all of our holiday timetables weren't very coordinated, most of the time, they were out in foreign countries whilst I was here and vice versa. When I did have the chance, however, I always chickened out and dodged the topic (which I resented myself for.)  
There was only four weeks left until the we have to return to school. I had invited Alfred over to have tea with me as my mum was working late. Pacing, I continued to practice my speech to him. The nerves crawled under my skin as time grew short. Alfred's reactions were unpredictable, but he will most likely take it terribly. Shit. Why am I even doing this? I should just back off and- no. I have to do this now. I have to. I need to.  
My phone buzzed. Alfred was getting ready. I made my way upstairs and decided to make myself presentable as well. I threw on some random clothes, checked myself out in the mirror and sighed. I didn't make any effort whatsoever. My hair was a mess and my clothes weren't colour coordinated or neat. I really wasn't happy in this relationship.

He attacked me with a giant bear hug when I opened the door. I cracked a smile and tried to play it off cool, but damn was this pain destroying me. This was monstrous of me. I dared to laugh and hug with him. I forced myself to hold his hand and move my mouth against his. I made him think that I was in love with him too. I let him be happy when I knew I was just going to ruin that later on.  
After dinner, we hid out in my room and sat on my bed. He said that he was about ready to go into a food coma so I allowed him to crash there. Alfred had the right to get whatever he wants right now - especially ever since I'm going to do that to him. I glanced at him and frowned slightly. It was time.  
"Alfred-" I started, but his kiss abruptly stopped me. I tried to push him away, but years of sports were clearly at his advantage right now. The weight of his body held me down and I could barely squirm; my breathing was restricted from both the kiss and Alfred. His hands roamed my body and slipped them under my shirt; his hips were dangerously close to my own. This was wrong - this was so wrong. This wasn't meant to happen at all.  
His tongue invaded my mouth and my teeth clenched down on the uninvited muscle. He recoiled and shoved himself away.  
"Arthur, what the fuck?" he hissed in pain as he covered his mouth. He blinked tightly and tears were squeezed out from the corners. I wriggled out from under him and backed up against the wall. He slapped his own forehead and sighed. "Shit, Arthur, I'm sorry. It was a bit much. I just thought you were... Suggesting something when you mentioned your mum wasn't home..." he mumbled. I mirrored his action. Of course he, Alfred F. Jones, would think about my invitation in that context. We both stayed silent for a little while. "So was the only reason you invited me here was because you were lonely?"  
I stared at him sadly. Now was the time. I had to tell him. "Alfred, I'm not happy," I explained, averting my eyes. I couldn't look at him. It was too much. The bed bounced a little as he shifted his weight towards me. He wrapped his arm around me and gave me a perplexed stare.  
"Are you scared of your brothers coming home? Is it your dad again? Your mum? Did you do something stupid again? Arthur - fuck - Arthur, please, tell me what's wrong," he asked gently; not wanting to break me, but it only made things worse. The way his voice faltered made guilt eat me alive. I shook my head and tensed under his touch. Those things were the least of my worries right now. "Then what's wrong, Artie? You know you can always tell me anything,"  
"You didn't let me finish: Alfred, I'm not happy about us. About our relationship." Just breathe, Arthur. Breathe. He retreated his arm from around me and stared at his lap. "Alfred, I'm so happy that we're soulmates, but what's the point of a relationship with no love?" I whispered delicately. He inhaled in sharply and rubbed his face. Tears fell once more and his breath stated to shake even more. This was all my fault. "I'm sorry, Alfred, but I just don't feel the same that you do. I hope you understand-"  
"Understand? What am I supposed to understand, Arthur? That I'm going to have to live the rest of my life in Black and White because my soulmate doesn't love me back? You're not the only one obsessed with colour, Arthur. These few weeks were the best weeks of my life. It felt like I could see for the first time in my life; because it was the first time I could actually feel something genuine. Please don't take that away from me," he wailed out. He desperately held on to my hands; his eyes were pleading and begging with everything they had. My words got caught in my throat as I watched him slowly crumble apart. Squeezing his hand, I slowly shook my head. It was over.

Alfred didn't avoid me again like before. It was still awkward, and his smile had disappeared, but he was only just coping. Only just. He, being the angel he is, had tried to understand my reasoning.  
'Well, Arthur, as long as your happy. If he's a dick to you, then tell me, and I'll kick his ass," he chocked, trying to fight back the tears. I felt terrible and as did he, but when has breakups ever been without pain? I know it was hard for him, but he fought for me, and I will fight for him, no matter how much I hate myself for doing this to them.

Gilbert had been back in England for a couple days. He went with his cousin, Ludwig, to Germany to visit some family. My attempts to talk to him were futile as he was sill asleep from the jet lag. As awesome as he claimed to be, Gil was no match for flying.  
I waited a few more days to let him rest up. Tomorrow would be the end of the Third Week of Summer, meaning only three weeks remained. The wait was over. I pulled out my phone and opened up his contact. His photo was still saved as the two of us. My heart fluttered when I saw it. I know I should have changed it earlier, but it brought back too much happy memories. My fingers hovered over the digital keyboard as I tried to think of what to type. Before my thumb could meet with the screen, I clumsily dropped the phone on the floor as my computer speakers blared out the Skype Call Tune. Stupid American, I thought. Sighing, I decided that I might as well have answered and ask him for some advice. The screen took a moment to load before displaying the said American. His lips formed a half smile. It filled me with slightly content to see him getting better, but I still felt like shit for what I did to him. 5 days had passed since he last did that. I missed it.

We talked for a little while. I had told him my plan to text Gilbert and invite myself over. He attempted to laugh like his old self and commented on how that was so not-me. I couldn't help but join him. Our forced humour was quickly disrupted by my phone alerting me of a message. The whole of time and space seemed to stop when I read the pixelated words.

 **Gilbert Beilschmidt to Arthur Kirkland:** I'm telling them today. Wish me luck. I'll miss you, Arthur.

"Arthur, what's wrong?" Jones asked, his voice echoed in my head. "Artie, what did he say?"  
"Alfred, I'm sorry, but I have to go."

My shoes slid around the corner as I sprinted towards his house. He lived the furthest from me and Alfred (but only by a few minutes). My chest ached and my lungs felt like they were going to burst. Screw asthma. My legs burned in pain as I pushed myself to keep this pace. He can't tell them - he can't just leave me.  
Ludwig was in the front yard, mindlessly watering the plants for his Aunt and Uncle. I shouted his name to try and capture his attention, but all that came our were faint and scratched sounds. I halted to a stop at their driveway, however, my feet tangled with each other and gravity pulled me down to hug the floor.  
"Arthur! Are you alright?" Lud gasped as he rushed to my aid. Red liquid trickled down my lower leg and my palms were raw from skidding across the rough surface. Fighting the fire in my legs, I pushed myself up and grabbed his shoulders. I felt salty droplets drip from my eyes. I could fix myself up later.  
"Ludwig, no time!" I panted, using him as a support to stand. "Where's Gilbert?"

I stormed through their house and scanned each door. According to the information given to me by his relative, the Silver Prussian should be in his kitchen. I turned the corner and spotted the kitchen door; I couldn't slow down now. My velocity picked up as exhilaration filled my body. I had almost ran into the wood face-first. My hands caught the handle and they stung in protest. The door flew open and all eyes flicked onto my form. Time slowed down as I spotted him. His Silver hair. His Red eyes. They were beautiful, but they weren't mine.  
His lips parted open. The lips that used to dance clumsily against mine. His parents were too astonished to say anything. I didn't blame them, I would be shocked too if someone just burst into your room uninvited.  
"Gilbert!" I yelled, adrenaline rushed through my body like a bullet train. Nothing intelligent or subtle popped up into my head, so I panicked and said the first thing that came into my thoughts. "Please don't move schools!"  
Silence fell across the room. Crap, I must've fucked something up. Again. Gil grabbed my arm and dragged me slightly away. His parents just stood dumbfounded and tried to process what I said in their heads. "Arthur," he hissed. Yeah, I definitely fucked something up. "I chickened out and haven't told them yet. What the hell are you doing?"  
"Gilbert, you want to move schools?"  
Well, shit.

After an endless conversation explaining how Gilbert was thinking about moving schools because 'his current one is too stressful' and 'he wants to find attend a different college instead so he wouldn't be stuck in the same one for two more years', they finally let us free. He wouldn't look at me - not that I blamed him. He pulled me into his room and silently fumed for a few minutes. I had tried to tell him some lame ass excuses, but he probably ignored me.  
"What was that, Arthur? What the fuck was that?!" he questioned; his voice was coated in anger, poison and confusion. I tried to butt in to explain, but he didn't allow it. "Why the fuck do you want me to stay? I already told you I had enough! Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to see the person you love be with someone else? I already told you that I don't give a shit if I have to see Black and White until I die, but you still picked him! Why are you here, Arthur? What do you fucking want with me?"  
I gaped at him. I'm so damn selfish, playing with both of these boys. They were meant to be my best friends, but I just used them like my toys. The fire flickered in his eyes as he stared me down. My hand reached out to comfort him, but he just slapped it away. "Gilbert, please,"  
"Please what? Please understand? Please endure the fucking torture you guys put me through? Stop playing with me! It's so clear that you hated the fact that you were colour blind! Just go back to your fucking soulmate because you obviously love him so much more than you ever loved me-"  
"Would you stop?!" I screamed. He flinched. That quietened him. All of the feelings I had hid behind the mental dam was starting to rise. "You know how colour is so important to me! I was just scared that you would say that now but then regret your choices later and leave me! I wanted to give you a chance, Gilbert, to find your true soulmate!" I heard a giant crack that I knew only I could hear. The barrier was breaking. Everything was going to come pouring out. "I had no idea? It's not like you knew everything! I was bloody suffering in that damn relationship because I was still in love with you! I ended that relationship for you! I left Alfred in the Black and White so I could be with you, you stupid twat!"

We both panted. The frustration had swallowed all of the energy we formerly held within us. No words were shared. Grass met Fire as all we could do was maintain eye contact. He studied me and twiddled with the end of his sleeve. His face expression hid what he was thinking.  
"Is it true, then?" he boldly sniffled. "You and Alfred are broken up?" I was too shaken up to say anything, so I answered with a nod. Stillness took over once again as he seemed to continue thinking. "Fuck it," he groaned as he rushed at my direction and grabbed my shoulders. Static collided with my body like a speeding car. A small moan escaped from my breath as he moved his own against mine. I missed this. I fucking missed this. He pushed me against the wall and I gladly followed. His knee made space between my legs as he forced himself closer. His hands re-explored the body that was familiar to them. His touch tickled every patch of skin they glided across. My heart cried happily as the warmth seeped back in. This is what love is. This right here. Fuck soulmates, Gilbert is all I want.

His chest pressed against my naked back as he proceeded to spoon me. Our hands were laying tangled together above our heads. My whole body ached with slight soreness and pleasure. I felt him breath in my scent and stoke my hip. With every single contact we made a surge of excitement ran through my body. I rolled over to face him. The blue and yellow that I knew so well had returned. We both shuffled closer to meet for a kiss, but we were stopped when the door cracked open. Thank God we were under the covers. Gilbert threw a nearby cushion at the intruder and loudly ordered them to fuck off. They caught the pillow and as they did so, pushed the opening wider. Oh shit, Ludwig. His face flushed pink as he understood why we wanted him to leave.  
"Y-Your mum and dad wants to talk to you!" He quickly spat out as he twisted to face the opposite way at an impossible record. "B-But I guess I can just tell them you're - uhm - busy at the right now!"  
I had to admit, seeing the usually stoic German fluster was hilarious, but right now, it didn't seem appropriate to laugh. My hand searched under the covers for my underwear and tried to avoid Gil's legs. Knowing that I was trying to slyly try to redress, he pulled the covers a little further up and sat up slightly. It had covered my face so only a small tuft of blonde poked from the top. I copied him and glared. Git.  
"If they wanted to ask about the me moving school thing, tell them I made up my mind." Although I was almost certain that he was staying, I was still incredibly nervous. I stared intently at him and waited. "Tell them... That I changed my mind. I can't just leave a good school or my friends like that. I'll be fine."  
Ludwig nodded quickly then rushed out, slamming the door behind him. Silence lingered before it was broken with laughter. We both sank back down then he wrapped his arms around me and I gladly buried myself into his chest. We stayed in that position for a few minutes and absorbed the happiness that radiated in the air. I was scared that a single word would ruin this picture we were in, but I took the risk anyway.

"Gilbert?" I whispered. "I love you,"  
He cocked his head to meet my gaze. "I love you too," he smiled as he planted a sweet kiss on my forehead. I wanted to live in this moment forever...

"So, how was I?" He fucking ruined it. I pushed him away playfully and sent him a smirk. I shrugged my shoulders and made a small 'meh' grunt. "I don't appreciate your tone, Arthur Kirkland," he grinned as he started to attack my sides. I squirmed and whined for mercy. "Admit it! I'm awesome in bed!"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt!" I gasped as he stopped. "You are so fucking awesome,"


End file.
